Once I recovered from surgery and was relegated to the “come see us in three months” rotation, I started asking God what his plans were for me. I still expected, to some extent, that God would lay it out in job plan format for me, like they do at work so I know what to expect I’ll be evaluated on. I challenged God to show me what he needed me to do (and bash me on the head with it if I was being obtuse about it) and then I expected instantaneous results. But God said, “Wait.” I’m not very good at that. I like to see the plan and take action.
Did you ever notice that your idea of taking action and God’s idea of taking action are not the same thing? I imagined myself speaking to large crowds of people, healing hundred of sick folks at one time, singing gospel songs at large church conferences – my visions were amazing! God laughed at my vivid imagination and then asked me to send a card to a co-worker who was recently diagnosed with cancer – not a very glorious undertaking. Later that night as I entered into the presence of God in my prayers, he reminded me that sometimes getting a card from someone who has been where you’re going makes all the difference in the world.
It no longer matters how small the task I’m asked to do is, whether it’s at work, at home, or at church. It doesn’t matter if people know what I’ve done or not. It matters that God knows, and that he sees me in all those lowly places, doing things I hadn’t expected to be doing. One of these days I expect to see the faces of those one simple card touched. It will have been worth the doing. You don’t have to stand in front of thousands to help heal one broken heart.
There are many things I once thought were so important that no longer seem important at all. In the light of God’s kingdom everything changes. Suddenly people who used to make me want to run the other way are people I need to talk to, to comfort and pray for. Suddenly the money I thought I had to save now gets spent on giving Christmas to someone’s child because he’s lost his job and can’t provide Christmas this year. I used to think that what I wanted was all that mattered. Now that kind of thinking seems odd and out of place.
God’s love, you see, is unfailing and forever. And I’m in love with God. He’s what’s important to me. What he wants is important to me. Everything else pales in comparison, absolutely everything. He’s all there is – Savior, Healer, Friend, Father, Counselor, Mighty God, King of Kings, Prince of Peace, Great I Am, Lover, Companion, Warrior …
Funny how changing your perspective changes everything else. People who know I’ve been through the Big C marvel at my positive outlook, giving me a chance to tell them all God has done for me. I am given opportunity after opportunity to tell my people about God’s care for me when I have to explain why I’ll be out at odd times to see one doctor or another. God has brought people to my office door to speak words of comfort to them and to ask me to pray for them. What a privilege!
I see people through my Father’s eyes and I treat them differently, because they are his children too – some wandering in darkness, some wandering even in the light. I was thinking about that one night as I was praying and God reminded me that people who need him don’t always know they do. Those who often know they need God are taunted by the enemy until they believe even God can’t save them.
God showed me that some folks think they are doing everything right by going to church, working in the church, singing in the choir, and doing good deeds for others, like giving to missionary funds and to church projects; sadly, God says they’ve lost sight of their appointed task (to share his Light and Love with others) to the point where they, too, are wandering around aimlessly. And those who have decided that God does not exist are truly lost.
Maybe, just maybe, living my life for him will show them they are wrong. God does exist; in fact, he never left. He is waiting for them to come to him. If I don’t stand up for him perhaps I’m taking away their chance to come. I may never see them come to God but perhaps I can plant a seed and leave the rest to God.
OK, so I’m uncommon. There you have it, I’m openly different. But, as I learned, God uses people who are “different” in sometimes spectacular ways. I would love to be spectacular – for God’s glory, not mine. I’d like to see his name in neon lights, not mine. I’d rather be a servant in the house of the Lord.
I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of servant leadership. A servant as a leader? Preposterous! Or, so I thought. Then I watched the movie “Troy.” In one scene Ulysses says something strange to Achilles: “Sometimes, in order to lead, you must first learn to serve.” The thought kept running through my brain. Then, later in prayer, God reminded me that Jesus was a servant leader, probably the best example of one.
For a leader Jesus was remarkably drab. He hung around with the unlovable and regularly ate with the untouchable. He wore common garments not rich robes made of finely created cloth. He walked wherever he went and slept wherever he could find a small place to lie down. When he spoke, he was usually calm and authoritative, not shouting for attention like some Wall Street trader. He was born the King, yet few would recognize him as such. Most saw him as that boy from Nazareth, the son of Joseph and Mary, just a common carpenter’s son.
Every year in December I look forward to the Christmas story. On the second Sunday in December I expected a sermon on the trip to be taxed, or on the wise men who came. What I got was a sermon that asked me to think about who I say Jesus is. People, Pastor G said, were looking for a Messiah; they didn’t expect a child born in a stable. He didn’t come with splendor as a regal king of earth would; he came as a child in swaddling clothes, just rags really, whatever could be found close by to keep the child warm. Not much splendor in that arrival. No fanfare, no fireworks, no feasts. We didn’t see him as the King. Some of us still don’t.
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